Slow Down And Live with Heneka Watkis Porter

Having been through the most traumatic health scare of her life this year, Heneka learned the hard way, the need to "Slow Down and Live." She am alive to share my lessons. Heneka wants to share the message of the importance of living well, living healthily and that self-care isn't selfish.

Heneka Watkis-Porter is an entrepreneur, coach, 5x author, international speaker and host of The Entrepreneurial You Podcast who has interviewed Richard Branson, John Lee Dumas, Paul Carrick Brunson, Seth Godin and many other influencers. She is the founder and CEO of Patwa Apparel. Heneka is also the creator of the Caribbean’s first virtual conference and expo: The Entrepreneurial You Virtual SME Conference & Expo.

Heneka hosts Leadercast events in Jamaica and writes for the Leadercast blog and Thrive Global.

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Full Transcript Below

Roy - Feeding Fatty (00:03):

Hello, and welcome to another episode of feeding fatty I'm Roy and I'm Terry. So today, you know, as we have talked about, we were taking you down our health journey and trying to get healthier, but sometimes that means actually slowing down to get healthier. Sometimes us being, uh, too far out in front of ourselves doing too much over-scheduling it can be, uh, take a toll on our health. So we are lucky enough today to have an awesome guest Heneka Watkis Porter. She is a coach speaker, author host of the entrepreneurial podcast and leader cast events, uh, in Jamaica. She is also a, uh, five times author. She is the founder and CEO of excuse if I mispronounce it, but Pat wa apparel and, uh, anyway, just extend it and say a welcome to the show. Thanks for taking time out of your day to be here.

Heneka (01:03):

Thank you, Roy. Thank you, Terry is my ignition to be here. I'm really looking forward to chatting. Good, good.

Roy - Feeding Fatty (01:09):

Yeah. So, you know, that's one thing, uh, we talk about all the time is we, I I'll speak for me, not Terry, Terry T keeps me in check, but I tend to get over-scheduled and, you know, try to push myself. And so the slowing down was, uh, it's what caught my eye when we initially talked and when I read your material and why I thought it's important to have you on, because it's important. So if you don't mind, if you could just kind of take us through your journey, uh, you know, don't, you don't have to say any more than what you feel comfortable with, but talk about, you know, your health crisis, how that kind of made you reflect and feel the need to slow down.

Heneka (01:51):

Well, thank you so much, Roy. So here's the thing. I have been one that is passionate and driven. I mean, from you, the stuff in the bio, perhaps to give that away, right? Going, going, going, going back at energize our money and, um, you know, fueled by the hustle and the grind, the culture and mentality that we've been fed and just going, without listening to my body that I need to pause because your body does give you clues. But sometimes we think, you know, not today I do it tomorrow. I rest tomorrow and you move right ahead and you just pick up where you left off. Well, I kid you not that on April one of this year of 2020, I was in the middle of a live interview, live YouTube interview. Um, I mean, as we were talking, no, but you know, it was like, it was just as it is now 18 and in the middle of doing that interview, I was passing on, Oh, wow.

Heneka (02:49):

Oh, I literally started passing or in the middle of it. And so that same night with all the symptoms that started coming on, I had to be rushed in Marina urgently to the hospital. No, to say that, I mean, if I could say that that was it and you know, everything was frightened from there after then that would be a land. It would be good for me. I would have been happy, but what wig don't after that night, my life, my health went on a downward trajectory from there. So, um, myriad of symptoms that were brought on acid reflux, um, high heart rates, close rates, um, high white blood cell Combs, uh, just, uh, a myriad of stuff like constantly passing on just one thing after the other. At the end of the day, I ended up going to 10 doctors. Wow. None of them was able to put a finger on it.

Heneka (03:48):

I mean, one kid pretty close and putting a finger on what the challenge was, which by that time I had already diagnosed myself. So when I went to my 11th doctor, which is a natural path, that's when my life, my health really began to turn a road, you know, um, I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and it was really a chronic state. So even at this point, to be honest, orienteering, I'm still in recovery because healing is a long-term process. It's a long journey. It's not like it's happening overnight, but you know, just a myriad of things, you know, in some nail, which is chronic. And you know, it was really what made masses really worse was that for a long time, I accepted that. I suffered in some new, like, you know, I wouldn't sleep, I couldn't sleep. I would take me long to get to sleep and I wouldn't sleep. And I just pass it over here. It's normal, it's insomnia. I've had it to have accepted it. So when the point key, when I beat, when I got really ill, I started because I realized in order for me to recover, I'm going to need to rest. And that I wasn't getting by this point, I was not sleeping at all. And so I decided to start taking which I've taken before, but, um, no more than ever was taking pills to sleep.

Terry (05:04):

Oh, me, I do it for years. For years.

Heneka (05:12):

It was the worst. This is your neck would have ever made it because until recently I didn't recognize. I mean, it was like just a couple of weeks ago. It just dawned on me, but Hey, wait a minute. I, I didn't tell you guys that I sunk into a depression that was so dark and this month I had no way of coming or like I saw no way out. So anxiety and depression, I mean, I would get anxious for the most ridiculous thing causing me anxiety. And it was later that I recognized that the active ingredient, which is a benzo something, another con call that name, um, all of the medications that are, uh, in that class, um, medication just bad do not take them. So the, the Xanax, so the, um, the Ambien and the, uh, and the doorman, calm Mandel, um, this, um, a myriad of them, I can tell you all about them.

Heneka (06:06):

I've been there, done that till after awhile. They no longer helps me to sleep like, so I would have to take, they make every seven days, but you know what the thing is, that was a blessing in disguise. So when I recognize that the pit, so I would find that when I didn't take the pills, I didn't feel as bad. Like my mood wasn't as bad. And I was not in such a dark place. Like it was so dark and people would say to me, you know, you're always inspiring and you're always motivating, you know, just look back on all the words that you have spoken to us and, and, and use those pull yourself. Or, and it was, I had to do a lot of self-talk going on in the sunlight, literally going on in the sun, taking fresh air, changing my diet, just a myriad of changes, lifestyle changes I had to make to get to where I'm at right now.

Roy - Feeding Fatty (06:56):

I think there's a lot to unpack because of

Heneka (06:59):

[inaudible] tired, all those medications.

Roy - Feeding Fatty (07:04):

Um, so many times that we feel that when a person is in depression, it's like, you know, they were a dark person anyway, they had negative thoughts. And you know, what strikes me about you is you are such a bubbly personality and then you are also very successful. So, I mean, it's, uh, I guess the point is that this can happen to anybody. We always have to be on our best behavior, our best taking care of ourself. Uh, we can't ever forget that because, uh, you know, you are an example that even the most successful bubbly personalities can fall into depression.

Heneka (07:44):

Yeah. And you're right. Um, to see that, you know, that's the lesson that stood out for me, that it can happen to anyone and depression is real. Depression is not, and it's not sadness. It's a different, um, it's not sad. So people, you tell people, people talk about depression and they probably think it's sadness. It's said, no, it's not sadness. It's something I cannot, I do not have the capacity to express and explain empty, huge, huge, and bottom Lasky, dark black hole that you dropped in. And there is no way, or you see no way of getting on and you're right. It happens to happen to anyone. And you don't have to be somebody that is negative because that's the lesson to me. And yes, I've been depressed, you know, maybe a little depressed before and sad before, but that was something different. I mean, I'm able to snap myself out of any of those circumstance.

Heneka (08:37):

I was never able to snap out of this because the pills were doing some chemical reaction in my breath. Right. And so it would give me the most negative of thoughts. Like one night, I remember, like I was taking an antidepressant and as well as the, um, the pill to sleep, I mean, all of that. And one night I had to literally jump out of my bed, run downstairs, get me a cup of common meal because what my brain was telling me to do on those pills, it was unimaginable. I'm like, no, like, luckily I had a part of me that was still saying that I could say, no, this is crazy. You know what I mean? And if I didn't do something to calm me, God knows what I would have ended up doing, because the pills were literally guiding me and working on my brain. And I didn't realize at the time. Right.

Terry (09:27):

And for you to be able to identify that, Oh my God, that, that is awesome. Because a lot of people can't, I mean, they're just down that rabbit hole. They just, they can't do it. And then your physical health, your health issues as well. Um, so what did you, what did you do? I mean, are you, what are you eating differently? Are you taking different medications? Supplements? What are you, what are you doing?

Heneka (09:57):

Great question. Because that's absolutely key. So I told her like, you know, I went to 10 doctors, then the liver cleanse and natural, and of course I've been to psychiatrist because I was going to just go the whole nine yards because I had to fight. When they tell you I put up a basket for my health, I had to basket for my health. Um, and I, and I was willing to better for it. And that includes heard I didn't, who's breathing. Um, like many times I just had to literally breathe. I would have to feed myself passing laws and I would get up and run outside and just breathe. Right. So, I mean, I didn't see a natural path onto Jeanette. I remember they started in April and it was that the first week of July that I started seeing a natural path. No we had, because of this whole COVID thing, of course, we had a phone consultation, I answered a ton, a big thick file of stuff.

Heneka (10:50):

She sends me. Oh gosh. But I was so happy to complete it and struggled to complete it though, because I, by this time my energy hadn't come back. Um, I was so super sensitive to electronics and naturally devices. Um, just, I cannot explain. So we knew that full in consultation and she took a few moments, go over it. And by the time we, you know, I came back, she was like, you know what? This is adrenal fatigue. And I, and I will say, and I said to her, I know it, right, because I shared it with a friend of mine. Um, and she said, yeah, this is my experience. I've been through it before. This is what you're going through. And my own research kind of led me there. And then, like I said, there was a doctor who client kind of came close to kind of seeing what the problem was. So just to answer the question, what I did. So I started on her pool room as a natural path. I started her program, which is a, um, it started with a detox in front of her all week. You know, you, you know, she gives you a diet at what to follow and so on. And it wasn't until day two into the, into the program. I said to myself, Oh my gosh, but these persons I've turned me into a vegan. I didn't realize it.

Heneka (11:58):

Oh my goodness. So it was two. And I find that funny. Right. And I said, you, one of the things that I did, but I find it really funny because, um, in March of this year, I had a, a guest from, from, from France that came to visit with me with a pool room that I was doing, you know, where it's called HomeAway, where I would have persons coming to my home. Who's at work. I accommodate them, feed them in extreme for the work. Oh. So I started that program and she, I met, we both met at the airport at very nice, um, when she was coming in, which is the ease of my art somewhere there. Cause I was coming from a speaking engagement in the U S in Florida. And you know, I was excited, no to prepare Jamaican foods for her. And she was like, Oh no, I don't eat meats. And I'm saying to myself, I said to her, that is so good. Like, um, you know, I wish I could do that. I love it, but I can't do it because I'm a meat lover. I need to have my pork. I need to have my knees. I just cannot do that lifestyle. And that was in March. So by July when I recognized like, Oh, wait a minute, I'm vegan.

Heneka (13:06):

I thought I was so nearest. But the thing is, so I started a vegan diet. And what I perhaps didn't tell you before is about friends with that. Prior to me starting that detox school, running backs and everything. I was on medication for acid reflux, right. Prescription medication for acid reflux. And I kid you not within that same week. When I, cause on that week, when I was going to detox, I decided I was going to risk it and not take any drug at all with a sleeping pills or acid reflux, whatever. I wasn't going to take any pills. I was going to load it, things to work. Um, and so I struggled with struggled with the sleep because I had to, once in the pool room, I had to take it because by the time I was a feeding Arizona, uh, but within that week, I literally came off the prescription drug for acid reflux. And I've not taken it since. Wow. Just by changing my diets, um, continuously exercising. But other than that started walking, you know, it needs some or per day, but I consistently Nosha said set. I showed you where I get up at five, have devotions from five to five 30 by five 30 to six 30, I'm walking, tomback on my breakfast at six, seven to AIDS. And then I don't have another meeting until two o'clock. That's another thing they introduced to me, intermittent fasting. I'm like, no, I'm going to die. [inaudible]

Heneka (14:31):

yeah. But intermittent fasting is what I've been doing since. And a lot of other things, you know?

Roy - Feeding Fatty (14:36):

Yeah. And that's an important factor that, uh, well number one, acid reflux, a lot of people are misinformed that if you, um, you have to have a burning sensation or some other pain, but some information that I've picked up here because I, before I changed some of my eating, I had really bad, uh, sinuses or, uh, just clogged up in the morning. Yeah. Really congested every morning. And uh, I did read some information that that can be a symptom of acid reflux as well. So it just kind of put it out to the listeners that, uh, it's always something to ask about because we don't know. But, uh, when I was going to say is changing food, you know, when we made some tweaks to what we were eating, I can completely off of my allergy medicine and have not had, you know, I have a bout of sneezing every now and then, but not the waking up feeling so stuffy. So, um, I think we need to be very conscious of what we put in our bodies that it has, it does have effect on us, even if we don't have a violent allergic reaction. That doesn't mean that, um, it's optimal for us.

Heneka (15:47):

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, the thing about our bodies, our bodies will adapt to what we, how we treat it. Right. And so it keeps adapting, but after a while, you know, you realize that it works. It's gonna work against you if you're not taking care of it. So not only did I go on a vegan that way, it's clean vegan diet that I'm on. So I don't eat anything fried, no flesh, no dairy, nothing, nothing fried. I don't use the REA I hardly use oils. And when I use a little oil is, um, coconut oil or olive oil, um, I do have regular salt. I have the pink Himalayan salt, but a great question, a great, um, continuing on your questions that I didn't finish answering about the, you know, what I'm taking notes in addition to the diet, one of the things that I recognize, um, and from my learnings and research that our bodies, because we've been overworking so much, we're already repeated in magnesium, right?

Heneka (16:51):

Um, so magnesium for me is my go to mineral. Like it's the, like the miracle of mineral mineral and having one of my, my upcoming slowdown and live summits. That's what we're going to be addressing and so on because one of the things really, because I am no on three different types of magnesium. So I is one today I spray on and I do that when I'm going to bed. And when I wake up in the morning, so I spread it on. So your body, your skin absorbs it a lot more than essential oil per se. Is that what it is like an essential oil type thing. It's not really an oil. It's just, it's literally water. You're just craving spreading out on an era and you just rub it in. And actually I'm an affiliate for the company as well that sells it. Um, because yeah, Boston's magnesium really well.

Heneka (17:36):

And then I do the calm brand, which I teach that sometimes in the late in the afternoon or a nice when I'm going to bed. And I also take magnesium glycinate because when you, my research proves that there are several different types of magnesium, right? And so it's the glycinate that will help you with sleep. My sleep has still not been restored in the sense that I knew was a bed and fall asleep and wake up refresh and that kind of a thing. But I have, I have not been able to get into a state of calm. So I don't wake up feeling like a zombie. Um, my body's still because having treated my body in such a bad manner, you know, it's gonna take a while to rebuild. So although, you know, I'm feeding a lot more in terms of energy because there was a time when I couldn't walk. I had no energy to walk just one day when I was able to say, okay, I am going to take the bull by the horn. And I'm going to walk around my house for 15 minutes. The day I was able to do that, that was such a major win for me. Like it was ridiculous. Like I would be going, I cannot explain all the things that I've needed to say. Just didn't have

Roy - Feeding Fatty (18:42):

Energy at all.

Heneka (18:44):

Nothing you anything, Oh my gosh, this conversation that we're having now would have been impossible a couple of months ago. Like I would, I would not be able to do it and then panic would start to set in, but this is something I love to do. So that is why I knew that something was wrong because I was getting, um, anxiety and panic over the things I love to do. And, you know, like having conversations like these.

Roy - Feeding Fatty (19:10):

So you've mentioned this, but just kind of tying it all together. So what I want to ask you is what are some changes that you have made as far as your, your activities? I know that you've said that you started getting up, it sounds like you started getting up earlier where you could do your devotional and then get out and have your hour walk, but have you made any other tweaks to your schedule or to, uh, you know, things that you would do during the day? Normally,

Heneka (19:39):

Absolutely. Great question. Because, and let me just preface this by saying the temptation is there for me to back go back to where I'm coming from with my shadow and may, you know, and, and organize and do this, do that, do that, whatever. But I'm reminded every day. And I think the blessing in this day is that my healing process is not, um, immediate and you know, it, it's a process. It's a blessing for me because it reminds me that, Hey, you cannot go back to where you're coming from. And so one of the things I do, first of all, I don't have my days. Like I usually would, I lost space to go outside, sit in the sun. I was supposed to be there in an hour per day. I would always stay the hour because, you know, but I make one of my favorite pastimes is to go inside and my garden.

Heneka (20:23):

I mean, I have I'm planting, no comers and okras and all these things, right. So I look forward to going out into my garden the days, making sure I take a break, I have my lunch or my breakfast time. It's sacristans not being gets in the way of that. Um, kind of a thing. So right now, as we're doing, I started doing my, my dinner slash lunch. Doesn't want to have me use two times per day and what I'm actually doing. No. Um, I started prepping my meals. So by the time we're done with this conversation, it would be my new time. Right. And I'd have my knees. So between 23, nobody gets me to do anything between seven and eight. Nobody gets me to do anything. You know, I am very clear that I need to set boundaries and I need to respect my body, um, listen to it.

Heneka (21:13):

And, and because it's what, you know, one of the things I'm sitting in my, my home office right now, Roy and Terry, and I remember looking around and seeing all the various accolades on the wall and the various things. And I got to a point where I actually resented them because I thought to myself, they are the reason why I'm in this position. Yes. I mean, ultimately I'm in, you know, it was my decision, but I looked at the things and I started at a time to resent them because I'm thinking if I weren't busy going after these things, I wouldn't have been in this situation. And, you know, and I want to share something that I thought because I I'm, I'm a woman of faith, I believe in God wholeheartedly. And it's to God, why I'm still alive today because I've been through hell and back.

Heneka (22:01):

I've been to that store. And I remember one day in April, like, you know, when I started feeding out little bits on city, wasn't there, but there was speeding, not as badly as the first few weeks. And I just looked around the office and wanted something to read. And I was randomly brought to a 2008, uh, devotional tall, the bread. I don't know if you guys know about that already in the grid. Um, it's a devotional that it's been, it's been in publication for many, many years now. And it gets circulated, um, predominantly in the Caribbean. I don't know where it is also distributed, but when I opened that devotional and opened it to the very first day, which was January one, two, so it was none eats. And the reading, the caption for the reading for that day says slow down and we live wow.

Heneka (22:51):

And for me, the message could not have been more poignant. Yes. I have been getting the, you know, the messages and all the errors before, but that was kind of what cemented it for me. And I thought to myself, I said, God, you know, if you allow me to go through this, just for me, you're, you're unfair is it cannot be just for me. So I took from that, that I was brought a load to go through that so that I can share my message with other people and to help them to recognize that, listen, it's important to want success. It's important to go off to these things, but ultimately if you're not around, you're not allowed to do them, then what's the point. Right. Yeah. And throw it on and leave the event comes out of that.

Roy - Feeding Fatty (23:36):

Yeah. And I kind of set you up with that question because, you know, I, I know that, you know, your health kind of hit rock bottom, so you were to rebuild back. But you know, what I think about is just myself. I'm the one that, um, if I could just do one more thing this day, if I can squeeze in one more, guess one more show, one more spreadsheet, one more this. And, but what, uh, the reason I ask is, cause the flip side of that is I can say, okay, I'm quitting right this minute and not doing any more today, but then I'll sit there and be anxious. I will get more anxious about not doing it then, you know, but I know that the path can be a lot worse than that anxiety. So I guess my, my thing is how do you deal with it? Or do you have some tricks or, uh, something that you can talk to us about for somebody like myself to be able to step back from it for a little bit.

Heneka (24:34):

All right. So I'll tell you that. I believe that God has a great sense of the human, right? So that was with the, um, with the vegan that when my friend came and I, yeah, I kind of knew that, but then I ended up being vegan and I remember one day I went to my hair, my hair asked a lot. So this, I know the listeners will not be able to hear, um, to see rather, but this picture that you're looking at with my hair braided. And so that's how I normally do my hair. Um, so I remember going to my status once, um, sat on, um, early in the year, last year. And I said to her, you know, I'm really praying for the day when I can feel like a bomb. Like, you know, just grew up mindlessly, aimlessly, not hearable with anything, not worried about, because I was somebody who I would say, okay, I'm taking a break.

Heneka (25:18):

No, and I take the break. And I remember that there was something to be done. And I forget that I'm on a break and I just went to go ahead and do it. I could not sit still. I could not get to the point where my body rich, I'm always in Uber. I was always in overdrive. Right. And I, even that day, when I'm doing my hair, I have my computer in front of me. And I'm working, working, working. I mean, you would think a girl is out doing her hair. She's just going to relax them. No I'm working. And that's how I normally, I would take the, the computer in neon everywhere. Right. Um, and so I had to train myself well, it, first of all, I was forced to, because there's a point when, even if I wanted to, I couldn't, but then once I started getting more energy, I keep remembering where I'm coming from.

Heneka (26:00):

So the memory of where I'm coming from keeps me grown there too. Okay. Just sit going even sometimes, even when I have a shirt, because I would put that maybe not very, um, you know, formal and strict and all of that, but I just have an idea of things on, of one, what I want to accomplish for the day. And I get to the point where I would say, okay, I have these three things I want to accomplish, but here's why I'm sitting down and I'm watching TV and I'm not getting up. And I'm, you know, that feeling when you're feeding. So relaxing, totally like you don't want to get up. I know, get that feeling, which I didn't know that I could have. And I prayed to get that, like just not wanting to do anything. I never had that feeling before. So I had to consciously bring myself there.

Heneka (26:44):

But another thing is like, if you have a shed, you, um, your, your show, you can also be one that takes minutes away from you. Because when you have your shadow, you can, the things that you write down that you want to accomplish within that day, please don't overdo it. Um, the things that you want to accomplish for the day, once you are able to tick them off you, that the gifts doesn't come with it, because what normally is a lot of gear to pump up is that you think, all right, so I have a BMC to do and you get carried away. You're on B, you're doing a, and then there's a gift in your like, Oh, I need to stop doing a no, because I have me to do. Um, and you're, you're, you're, you're, you're convicted because you're not sure which project you need to spend more time on.

Heneka (27:31):

But if you have a little shed, you right. And make it flexible, please, you know, I realize you're not robots. If you have a little shadow that you said, okay, I want to accomplish these three things today. And you spend some time like, okay, I'm going to spend two hours on eight an or on B and three hours on C. Um, I mean, I don't know, circumstances should just be working three orchard street. Anyway. It needs to be taking breaks in between, but you put time to them so that your brain knows that, okay, I'm working on B and I did allocate to, or to, um, or an order to be. So you don't feel there is not competition that you need to be doing C because you did allocate time to, to see what you're doing. Be know. So it helps your brain because your brain want to trick you into thinking, Oh, you need to be doing all of these things. And if you're not, when you're not doing that, you're like, Oh my gosh, I need to be doing, you know, when you're doing something, it's like the cycle continues. So structure your brains. Count your brain too.

Terry (28:31):

Yeah. She was talking about me. That's exactly what happens to me. I'm like, Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I need to be, I need to be, uh, allocating the time, like you said, I need to write that down with my to-do list, you know?

Roy - Feeding Fatty (28:44):

Yeah. I think that's another important part is the scheduling also the to-do list and not to overdo it. What I try to do because of what I learned years ago was if I got something off my mind and on paper, it freed me all of a sudden, it just like, it's like deleting a file on a hard disc. It just freed up more space. And so I'm pretty diligent. But then what I got into a habit of writing everything down and as Terry can attest, if I was to go out and walk for 15 minutes and have a clear head, I'll come back with 25 new things to new ideas. And it's like, Oh my God. Well, so, um, you know, what I've had to do is I make that to the daily to-do list. And then I have the bigger want to do future to do so I don't get hung up on that.

Roy - Feeding Fatty (29:32):

But anyway, the point is, no matter how you do it, I use, uh, I I've started using the Microsoft to do cause I like it, it, it transfers from all my computers, phone, everything, but I also use three by five cards because I like to see it in front of me all the time. And so find a way that works for you. It, everybody likes something a little bit different. Some people talk to a young lady the other day that she likes to put post-it notes all around, you know, on the bathroom mirror, what she wants to start her day with, you know, on the desk or whatever. So anyway, just find a way to do your to-do lists, where you can write it down, get it off your mind, and then put time to it important cannot stress that enough, but that time limit that I'm going to work on a, for that hour. And that way it also, you, uh, instead of trying to get it to completion, you realize that, Hey, I've got an hour for this and then I'm quitting. I'm not going to finish it because that's what I fall into. When I start working on something, it's like, it's gotta be finished. It's gotta be finished. And it may not necessarily have to be finished. Right this very