We've come out of retirement to deconstruct the most recent season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. This week, we discuss Kyle and Mauricio, Morgan Wade, Dorit v Garcelle, Sutton's esophagus, and Kathy's mob boss appearance at the Reunion. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Merry Christmas everyone! Dorinda's here to make it nice and she's even brought Santa (her sister, Melinda, in drag) with her! This week, we talk Bluestone Manor, Christmas, Gothicism, Richard, death and grieving, alcohol, anger, and John Mahdessian. Plus, we give some thoughts on Beverly Hills and UGT and briefly reminisce over our favorite Bravo Christmas moments. UGT Recap: 1:30ish Dorinda Discussion (I): 8:00ish RHOBH: 35:45ish Dorinda Discussion (II): 40:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we're heading south of the equator to discuss another international spin-off from yesteryear: the truly batshit first season of Real Housewives of Sydney. We talk its trio of villains: Victoria, Lisa and Athena X, fighting, divorce, nearly drowning at sea, past life regression therapy, long-lost sisters, The Boar, flying economy, Captain Eyebrows, the Pot Plant in the Room, Chewbacca, and of course, Lizzie Buttrose. RHOSydney Discussion: 12:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Crack open the champagne, because Heather's here to tell us all to stop being so silly! This week, we talk Heather's illustrious acting career, her home, being "the sensible one", Terry, pretentiousness, condescension, villainy, her Sushi dinner meltdown, and her feuds with Kelly, Shannon, Noella, and Tamra. RHONY Discussion: 4:30ish Heather Dubrow: 10:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we discuss the new crop of Housewives replacing the mad Upper East Siders we came to know and love. We talk aspiration, fashion, trauma, cheese, flirting, Anguilla, and crying. Lots of it. RHONY Discussion: 10:45ish RHOBH Discussion: 46:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Forgotten to the annals of Housewives history, we blow away the dust and open up the chronicle to recount the story of Bravo's biggest blunder: The Real Housewives of DC. We talk politics, gay marriage, race relations, Michaele and Tareq Salahi, cheerleading, the Oasis Winery, crashing the White House State Dinner, and a farcical congressional hearing... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Who is Yolanda Foster in this world? Well, we'll tell you. This week, we talk lemons, the Master Cleanse, David Foster, the glass fridge, the Dream Team Yolanda Discussion: 20:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Put nine lemons in a bowl and open the Casamigos, Shannon's in the house! This week, we talk all things Shannon Beador: "fun", wacky costumes, Spanglish, Tres Amigas, David, divorce, John Janssen, gaslighting, nervous breakdowns, and a certain DUI that happened over the weekend... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Journalist, European royalty, marathon runner, adopter of Baby, Baby, and Baby, she's done it all. This week, we discuss New York's resident princess Carole Radziwill. We talk CoolCarole, fashion, talking heads, ageism, Bethenny, their friendship, their breakup, and how to argue. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

After a month's sabbatical and a major technical mishap, we're back! This week, we have the honor and the privilege of discussing the OG of the OC, patron saint of whooping it up: Vicki Steinmetz Gunvalson. We talk Vicki's humble beginnings, family vans, hypocrisy, mortality, pratfalls, injuries, illnesses, her dramatic fall from grace and her triumphant return. Vicki Discussion: 15:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we go (barely) international as we discuss the short-lived Real Housewives of Vancouver. We talk alcoholism, frenemyship, Housewives' evilest villain Jody Claman, the Mary-Ronnie-Jody trio of doom, Robin Reichman, Ioulia Reynolds, Ronnie's harrowing Reunion monologue, and one of the greatest Housewives one season wonders: Christina Kiesel.

This week, we pop back to New Jersey to discuss the events of its most recent season. We talk the Prohibition party, Melissa cheating rumors, the new Housewives, Teresa's wedding, Luis, Bo Dietl, and the Reunion. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

The New York Times, NPR, The Housewives Archives... These are but some of the elite journalistic powerhouses who have covered the cultural juggernaut that is Scandoval. This week, we take a break from Housewives and talk all about Vanderpump Rules' biggest bombshell ever, including its key players, the explosive Reunion, cheating, affirmation, bullying, hypocrisy, parasocial relationships, and the pressure of publicity. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we pay homage and give sacrifice at the temple of Bravo to The Godfather of our favorite piece of television, Mr. Andrew Joseph Cohen. We talk our favorite Andy moments, international Andy Cohens, WWHL, Andy's Housewives favorites and least favorites, Reunions, accountability and conflict resolution. Andy Discussion: 11:30ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we don our blackest attire and gather in solemn remembrance of our dearly departed Real Housewives of New York City. We reminisce about our favorite seasons, trips, characters and moments, and dissect what exactly led to its untimely demise. We talk New RHONY, RHONY: Legacy, aging disgracefully, the ethics of reality television in 2023 and, most importantly, Luann's recent musical turn as Ariel the mermaid... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Top o' the mooooooornin'! This week, the OC ladies invade the Emerald Isle and take the entire nation hostage with their drunken shenanigans, questionable accents, and bus ride bust-ups. We talk Kelly Dodd and her rage blackouts, FunShannon™, the infamous pub crawl, milking cows, the bus ride from hell, Heather the Villain, and Meghan's ill-fated quest to find a fellow O'Toole... It's a real hooley kickin' time! RHOC Discussion: 16:30ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Before Scandoval, there was Brooks Ayers and his grift to fake cancer. This week, we take a deep dive into the original Bravo scandal and the downfall of the OG of the OC, Vicki Gunvalson. We talk Brooks, Briana, The Evil Eye Argument, Meghan King Edmonds and her detective skills, Tamra's producing, Vicki and her religion, and men. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

God is her savior, her husband is her king, and her body? It's sinful... This week we light a candle in honor of the blessed patron saint of National Booty Awareness Month, Alexis Bellino. We talk religion, glamour, motherhood, Jim, the Costa Rica takedown, the art of bragging, Heather Dubrow, Alexis Couture, the princesses and puppies party, and Alexis' illustrious acting career. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

We're back! To celebrate the start of a brand new season we raise a glass of TipsyGirl™ and salute our favorite tragicomic heroine, Ms. Sonja Tremont Morgan. We talk Sonja's many voices, spotting Sonja in the wild, her copious meltdowns, the TownHouse™, the ToasterOven™, being the beta of the group, sex, comedy, and living in the past. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

We're taking a brief break from Real Housewives - excepting some minor Barbara K chat - for a trip to the Scottish Highlands where we discuss our shared reality TV obsession du jour: The Traitors! We reminisce about our student days playing the parlor game from whence the show draws its inspiration, then we talk the similarities and differences between the American and British iterations, our doppelgänger hosts, most memorable contestants, the often shockingly bad gameplay, and that breakfast scene.  Warning, here be plenty of massive spoilers... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives